for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
