Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
