It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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