New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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