I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
