I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Non-Jews are for practice
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize