you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize