Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize