We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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