then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
