Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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