Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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