i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
