We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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