I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize