it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
its not stalking. its research.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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