just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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