i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
