So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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