smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
