so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
