Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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