go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
