Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
