That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
