he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Randomize
