I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize