so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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