winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
