i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I need water and some morals
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
