The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
