Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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