Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
