so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize