I'd wear matching sweaters with you
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
So vagazzling was a success
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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