so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize