U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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