He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
