I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
