Having a random hookup so left but love u
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Randomize
