also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
