I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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