It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
