Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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