oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
