so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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