I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
