Im at strip club and am horny
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize