girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
