It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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