look no pants
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
