we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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