this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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