Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Randomize