I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
