My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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