Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
