Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
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