I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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