did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
