She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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