Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
When are your genitals available?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
